In My Copious Free Time

What a lovely day, despite most of it

Let me just say that there's one very exasperating situation going on that I can't go into detail about, but it makes me want to punch a hole in the wall. aaarrrrrggggghhhhh

But like Alex said, "if you are mad you will live." And I will live.

Speaking of Alex, I spaced on the candy and gift bags that I bought supplies for last night -- it was very late and Alex was long since asleep when I remembered and assembled the bags. He was tickled to see them in the morning, asking me "Hey Mommy, are these to give my kids?" He often refers to his classmates as "my kids" for reasons I cannot quite get out of him, though I suspect his teacher says the same thing.

We went out to the car to go to school and couldn't open any of the car doors. After much effort, I finally got the doors open and the ding-danged car was stuck in the snow and ice. There wasn't even that much there for it to be stuck in, but we weren't going anywhere, so we had to walk. (The horror, I know, having to walk an entire 3 blocks...but it was cold, people. Plus I stepped on some thin ice and both feet went right into a puddle, getting both my socks wet.

We had a lovely dinner out this evening and we all exchanged little gifts before going to eat -- nice evening. But Steve the Postman and Unknown UPS Person were particularly good to me today.

First was a little gift from a friend, a mini Fashion Emergency kit. So adorable!

Next was my pre-ordered Thriller 25th anniversary CD with DVD. The DVD has the three videos from the album, including the full length version of "Thriller" and the Motown 25 performance. It's nice to remember not really him, but what life was like then, what I thought of that music, how excited we'd all be any time one of his songs came on the radio in my mother's little blue Ford Escort. (sorry to go all "soundtrack of my youth" on you there)

And in the final package I opened I found my tube of Lancome Pixel Pink, Gucci Westman's last lipcolor of her Pret-a-Pout collection that features collaborations with fashion designers. This particular shade was done in collaboration with Thakoon. Last year I scored a tube of Proenza Pink (designer-Proenza Schouer) but hem-hawed around about getting PS Kiss (designer - Peter Som) and I regret it. I know that must sound strange, to regret not buying a lipstick. But in terms of regrets, it could be a lot worse! (Let's not even think about the Behnaz Sarfapour red that started the series.

Pixel Pink is an amazing lipstick - it is a light raspberry pink color that goes on very smoothly and is at the same time both richly pigmented but light and fairly sheer. But the best part is that it feels so wonderful on - nothing drying or heavy feeling about this. I would recommend picking up a tube immediately, except that it is sold out on Lancome's site. (I bought it the day it went online, and I'm not sure when it sold out -- might have been that same day.) Here's a tip, though -- Bergdorf Goodman's Lancome counter has excellent phone order service. When I ordered the Proenza lipstick from them, they were extremely helpful and threw in literally handfuls of product samples. In a moment of introversion, I chose online ordering for Pixel Pink, so no such luck this time.

Oh, and while we didn't do anything big for Valentine's Day Joe did suggest that we go to the Palace (local restored theater) to see their Monday night showing of "Doctor Zhivago." So we have a date, for the first time in ages. Oh, and we worked out a good schedule with Analise, our home-life coordinator, for covering Alex's vacation from school next week.

So not a bad day, all in all. Happy Valentine's Day everyone

3 displeasing facts

The air temperature is 11F.
The wind chill is -1F.
Our furnace just quit working.

From shy to fly in 5 easy steps

See that title? That is not the title of a shy person. It's brash and over-promising. It's ironic in its use of slang. But guess what? I'm shy. Or at least that's what I tell myself.

Before I go any farther, I have to ask...do you read Chris Brogan's blog? Chris is the co-founder of PodCamp and an all-around smarty pants about social media and community. Even his 140-characters-or-fewer Twitter posts are thought provoking and smart. About three months ago, Chris wrote 100 Blog Topics I Hope YOU Write About. It's a great list -- so great that over 200 people have picked a topic or 2 or 3 to blog about. One of these days, I'm going to finish reading them all, but I figured after all these weeks, it was about time to actually write something about the one I picked for myself.

The one that popped out at me was #85: How I Went From Very Shy to Less Shy.

Let's get one thing clear right now: I am still a shy person. Not painfully so, but still. It's only been in the last 2 or maybe 3 years that I realized I'm not as shy as I think I am. In fact, more often than not, if I mention my shyness now, people are surprised. "You don't seem at all shy to me," is the common response. So how did I do it? Bottom line, I got a little braver. And then I got a lot braver. I started taking more chances. But it isn't always easy and it so often doesn't come naturally. Here are some tricks I learned:

1. Remember that a big part of shyness is that feeling that everything you are doing stands out or gets noticed. It's the spotlight effect. We often think people are watching our every move and judging us harshly, when the truth is that more often than not, they are more worried about their own actions. So why spend so much time worrying about what others think and shutting myself down? Big waste of energy.

2. Get a role model. Watch people who you think of as outgoing or confident or whatever it is that you think you AREN'T. What are their behaviors? What do they do that is different? You don't need to be them, but you can learn from them.

3. Corollary - fake it till you make it. Sometimes when I'm feeling like hiding in the corner, I think about my role model and what they would do, and I just do it. If I see someone with a great handbag in front of me in the Sephora checkout line, I might be tempted to just keep quiet (and I often am). But if my husband sees just about anybody wearing Penn State gear, he will strike up a conversation or at least give them a rousing "We are!" So I remember that and just do what he would do. And you know, people often respond very well. After all, who doesn't like a compliment?  Sometimes half the battle is just acting unshy to break the ice. It isn't all about faking it - it's about getting yourself over the hump so that the real you can come out.

4. Practice! Pick some safe surroundings to push your own envelope. When you're with your friends, be a little bolder, a little more daring. Go first. Call shotgun. Use the moments when you feel safe and comfortable to break out of that old box.

5. Stop the negativity. I've gotten better about it, but I still nibble at myself -- tell myself I'm too this or not enough that. Cut it out. Remember that spotlight effect? Stop shining the light in your own eyes. Try for just one day to think a positive thought after every interaction, especially the ones that make you nervous. If you tell yourself often enough that you aren't shy, that people want to know you and want to hear what you have to say, then somewhere down the line, you're going to start believing it.

So, that's all I have. I'm certainly not going to win a Nobel Prize for social skills. (What? That isn't a category?) But it's these little* tricks that help me be a little more of the person I want to be and give others a chance to know the person I really am.

Danke to Chris for the inspiration.

*Okay, maybe they don't sound like little tricks. Just keep telling yourself that they are.  No point in psyching yourself out, is there?

The un-resolution

I know the turning of the new year is a time for resolutions, but that's something I usually don't do. It's hard enough to break bad habits or create new good habits without adding the artificial obligation of the calendar. So I don't do it.

Not that I'm a lazy slob or anything. I did give up all soda in August, and not even on a Monday, but on a regular old Wednesday. Only recently have I realized just how good a thing that was. I never thought caffeine affected me because I could drink all the soda I wanted and it never kept me awake or acted as the pick-me-up that other people seem to get out of it. It was only after I quit that I realized how addicted to caffeine I really was. My head hurt for a solid week without it. But after that the difference was clear. I have had very few headaches in the last four-plus months, and the ones I've had have been sinus pressure related. This may not sound like a big deal, but those who know me well realize it is HUGE. It follows years of having at least one headache a week, usually more.

It's hard to imagine any physical difference greater than losing the frequent headaches. But I didn't just kick the caffeine*, I also kicked a huge amount of sugar. Well, high fructose corn syrup, which isn't sugar--it's worse. I haven't noticed a big change in my weight (and frankly, I wouldn't want to notice one), but I have notice a big change in how I feel. Before, I would feel horrible because I "didn't eat soon enough." Now a haphazard eating schedule doesn't bother me nearly as much and I realize it's because I've gotten off the sugar roller coaster. No more highs and crashes. This probably contributed as much to my headaches as the caffeine.

*I haven't given up caffeine entirely. I still drink Starbucks chai latte, which has some caffeine in it. One grande has about 30% more caffeine than a Coca-Cola Classic, but I don't drink 3-4 of those a day. I don't even drink 1 a day, and I can go for a long time without one and feel no physical effects.

Anyhow, back to resolutions. I didn't intend to write about giving up soda. Instead, I was going to write about the idea I had to blog daily. This thought has entered my mind a few times that last couple of days, but it's just silly. There's no way that I'd do it. No way. Of course, that's what I said about soda. The reason I could never give up soda for good is simple. I always knew I could give it up for a day, but "forever" seemed impossible. Now I realize you don't give anything up forever. You might make that big commitment, but in reality, you give it up every day. 134 days later, I realize you can't get to "forever" without adding up a lot of every days.

So, see you tomorrow. Probably.

Home in time for 2008

Just a quick update to say that we are home from the hospital. Alex went from unable to walk and horrible pain to barely even a limp and working on his form at Wii Tennis in 48 hours. Gotta love the resilience of youth!

2008 is going to be a great year, I just know it. I have big plans for ME and big plans for WE. Make that BIG plans.

I was considering doing something rash like resolving to blog every day. But then I remembered I don't make new years' resolutions. Phew, that was close.

Happy new year everyone! Here's wishing a BIG year for everyone!

Enchanted, literally

It's been a movie holiday for us. On Thursday, Alex and I went to see "Bee Movie." Eh. Okay, but nothing great. And the movie theater didn't have Junior Mints. Last night, we all went to see "Enchanted." It took a little convincing to get Joe to go, but off all three of us went. Alex seems to have developed a sudden love of movie popcorn, so I plunked down $10 for a small popcorn and a large bottled water. This was at different theater, but again, no Junior Mints! What is this world coming to???

The movie far and away exceeded my expectations, and given that it was at 92% fresh at Rotten Tomatoes, I had fairly high expectations. Joe even liked it, and his expectations weren't nearly so high. ;) A lot of things made it delightful - Amy Adams' performance was sweetly naive and unfailingly optimistic without ever dipping into irony. James Marsden was perfect as the gallant, charming prince -- all smile and little substance. But beyond any individual performance was the way that Disney condensed decades of fairy tale movie history into this one film without a touch of cynicism. It definitely mocks those traditions, but in the way that one might tease a loved one -- the laughter is a knowing one and tinged with affection.

I think I might have smiled through the entire movie.

What actually happened this weekend

This weekend I posted a list of what needed to happen. Here's what I actually did:

• Put flannel sheets on bed
• Cleaned kitchen counters (Joe did this)
• Recycling - I did break down boxes, but that's it
• Folded a cubic raftload of laundry and put it away. An equal amount remains.
• Swept the bathroom (did not clean, per se)

What I did that wasn't on the list:

• Took Alex out for a fun lunch
• Took Alex to get a haircut
• Took Alex to the airport to watch planes
• Had a good walk with my boss
• Organized drawers and cabinets in bathroom (including a re-org of the makeup stash, which is not a small task)
• Got rid of outdated stuff on fridge, neatened up what remained
• Returned some stuff to Target
• Started boxing up stuff to send to a friend (long overdue)
• Got more storage bins
• Put away Alex's summer clothes (mostly done)

I'm sure there was more, but that will have to do for now.

What has to happen today

Finish putting away ALL laundry
Put flannel sheets on bed
Straighten up books (i.e., gather all the books that are all over the house)
Recycling (break down boxes, sort through magazines)
Clean kitchen counters
Clean upstairs bathroom
Sweep everything

And if I'm REALLY ambitious, sort through some toys and box up the ones that don't see action anymore.

Hit and run blogging

I'm tired so this is going to be short and sweet. Or short.

Six weeks ago today, I gave up Coke.

Let me just repeat that for those of you who know me well. I gave up Coke. That's a big enough deal on its own, but it isn't just Coke. I quit drinking soda, period. Cold turkey. The first few days were a regular  festival of headaches, but that resolved soon enough. It's no surprise that I still crave it, especially when I have pizza or we go to our favorite Mexican restaurant. But the real surprise has been the effect quitting has had on my eating habits. I have much less desire to eat anything sweet these days. In fact, most of the time, the thought of something sweet makes me feel ill.

I drink mostly water these days, and usually a tall glass of chocolate milk in the morning and a glass of lemonade (water, lemon juice, sugar - no high fructose corn syrup).

I NEVER thought I'd do this, but it's working so far.

Today is the day!

We're all up and getting ready to head to Helen Keller Hospital for my sister Jillian to have her baby. It's still hard for me to believe that my baby sister is about to become a mother. I'm so thankful that I can be here for her, so excited for her and her husband Gary, and so happy and eager to see her little boy come into the world. Jillian has been so brave and really kept her sense of humor and practicality through all of this, and I'm so proud of her. It's been a bittersweet journey, I know -- we're all missing Mother so much through this.

When Alex was born, my mother knit him a blanket. Knowing she was sick and that she likely would not live to see my eight-years-younger sister have a child, she began knitting another blanket to put aside for her. I'm not quite sure when she started it, but she eventually became too sick to finish it. I took it home this summer, determined to finish it myself. Unfortunately, I couldn't figure out the pattern, but the mother of a co-worker helped me out by reading the pattern, figuring out where Mother had stopped, and did the last few rows of the design repeat that I couldn't figure out. I was so happy to be able to finish the blanket, but it was a difficult experience, holding the needles she held, finishing the work that cancer made her unable to finish, doing the job she wanted so badly to do. She might not be physically here to hold her newest grandson, but he will surely be wrapped in her love by all of us in many ways.