In My Copious Free Time

Dear Wii: You suck

So I mentioned I kind of like am addicted to Dance Dance Revolution. Tonight I've been playing the SAME SONG for way too long trying to beat the computer so I can move to the next level. I really don't get the scoring of this game, and usually I don't really care, but right now I'm ticked off. (as much as a sane and rational person can be ticked off at a video game)

On the last try, here are my scores and the computer's, with mine on the left, the category in the middle and the computer score on the right:

74    Perfect    75 - this means the number of steps hit perfectly
39    Great        33 - the number of steps hit close to perfect
(note - if you maintain a series of perfect and great steps only, you build a combo - the more consecutive perfect/great steps, the higher the combo)

1   Good    2 - number of steps hit below great - a good breaks a combo
0    Almost   2 - lower than good - also breaks a combo
0    Boo   3 - a total miss of the step - breaks a combo
34 OK    33 - some steps have to be stepped and held - you get an OK if you hold it the right amt of time
0   NG    0 - means "no good" -  you didn't hold a step the right amount of time - breaks a combo
99 max combo  53 - number of consecutive perfect/good steps

So tell me how I ended up with a total score of 30,536,240 and the computer beat me with a 31,941,300? That 1 extra perfect surely doesn't amount 1.4 million extra points, especially given that I played the game with only 1 break in the combo.

This game is out to get me.

p.s. - Please stop talking smack to me. When my score is a high A with only 1 step separating me from the computer, I don't want to hear "Come on, you've got to pick it up!" or "You call that DANCING?"

p.p.s. - This is battle mode. If the score is very, very close and the computer declares it a draw, I don't want to hear "Way to work together!" There is no together, and don't try getting on my good side not 2 minutes after declaring "you got SCHOOLED!"

Automated politeness

I just sent an email to our IT help address and received the following failure notice:

Hi. This is the qmail-send program at xxxx.xxx.xxx.
I'm afraid I wasn't able to deliver your message to the following addresses.
This is a permanent error; I've given up. Sorry it didn't work out.

Sorry it didn't work out? I suppose that's better than "sucks to be you, dude" but I'm not sure commiseration is something I'm looking for in my automated email.

It reminds me of those automated phone systems where a "person" talks you through a selection process that hinges on how clearly you enunciate numbers. It usually goes a little something like this for me:

Phony Baloney Robot: Please tell me what you want to do. Do you want to [unnatural pause] book a flight in the continental US? Do you want to [unnatural pause] check flight status?
Me: Check flight status.
PBR: [faint beep/click] OK. What is the flight number?
Me: six-forty-five
PBR: [faint beep/click] I'm sorry, I didn't get that. Let's try again.

I didn't get that??? I love technology, but until we can make the robots get it on the first try every time, let's just let them be robots.

(Note that while this might sound complain-y, I am really more amused and baffled by this trend.)

Want to know what unjustified fame smells like?

I'm not one to get in a tizzy about cultural phenomena. Heath Ledger? His death wasn't news to me -- it's sad when anyone dies, but I'm hardly shocked when an actor or singer or other celebrity dies in a drug-related fashion. But as much as I'm unsurprised at the death, I'm also not surprised at the reaction. We're a country that loves our celebrities - love to love them, love to hate them. Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down.

And while I don't buy Life & Style magazine for the articles (I promise, I just read it for the pictures), I do take my daily and barely even guilty pleasure in reading Perez Hilton.  I won't turn up my nose at celebrity news, but neither do I worship at the TMZ altar.

So I hope you, fair reader, understand where I'm coming from when I say that I can only shake my head at a world that gives us the new perfume Kathy Hilton My Secret. I don't care who she married -- she might have been a well-known New York socialite, but she's famous for being the mother of Paris Hilton, who is famous for, well, nothing. So Kathy Hilton is famous for even more nothing than her daughter, if that is possible. Next thing you know, Dina Lohan will have a handbag line and Britney Spears' sister's baby daddy will have a talk show.

(And rest assured that I don't have a chip on my shoulder over this, but I do have a tongue in my cheek.)   

Grandpa Ringo

Jocelyn, this one is for you.

Seen as I drove back to my office today after picking up Alex:

"unexpected" hardly covers this one

Tonight Alex and I walked into Cracker Barrel just behind a giant walking penis.

Yes, you read that correctly. A man dressed as the aforementioned genitalia - complete with testicles - went inside the restaurant after a brief shouting match with a uniformed waitress who stormed off saying "you're gonna get me fired." A manager type immediately walked over to Penisman and told him he had to leave, but he attracted quite a bit of attention.

a little-known sign of addiction

Sign you are addicted to your lip gloss: you put it on BEFORE showering.

I have this new lip gloss. It's a plumping gloss. The first generation of plumping glosses that contained irritants like capsaicin or cinnamon oil and achieved plump lips through, well, searing pain. Not my cup of tea. But this new generation of plumpers is different. I got a set of 4 Buxom Babe glosses and I am newly converted. Not only do they have a wonderful smell that seems to be a chocolate and vanilla blend, they feel great. Initially they tingle, but the tingle turns into a minty cooling sensation that lasts quite a while.

Needless to say, they feel SO good that I think I'm hooked. How bad is it? Well, the other day I was about to step into the shower and I caught sight of one of the glosses sitting beside the sink. And I thought, "What the heck, I'll just put a little on now..."

Yes, I put lip gloss on to take a shower.

I love the smell of a new magazine in fall

I've been a fashion magazine addict (and a magazine fan in general) for a very long time. The first leaves turning red are lovely, and that first day when the sky is clear and the humidity has vanished is a delight, but since I was about 12, nothing signaled "fall is coming!" for me quite like the heft of Seventeen magazine's back-to-school issue as I giddily pulled it out of my mailbox. Even now I love a thick stack of September issues - right now I have Bazaar, Vogue (US and UK - I'd have bought French Vogue if Borders had had it in stock), W, Vanity Fair, Elle, and Elle Accessories stacked next to the bed. Yes, they are mostly ads, and that's why I like them. I won't wax philosophical; I'll just say that high-end fashion ads are typically striking, often artistic, and sometimes inspirational. What I take away from an ad is sometimes the product being peddled, but often it is something somewhat incidental. For instance, if I pick up Elle Accessories, the first ad is for Guess shoes and handbags. Yes, silver is going to continue to be hot this fall (as will metallics in general), but what I see is that the model in one photo is wearing 4 of the hottest trends for fall makeup: thick, defined brows; winged eyeliner; red lips; and short, red nails.

I really started this because I wanted to record this feeling of nostalgia induced by a 2-pound magazine (I'm probably rounding up), but now that I've started flipping through Elle Accessories, I think I'll comment on a few ads...

Prada shoes - I'm not a huge fan of Prada, but these shoes are lovely, particularly the brown and toast colored ombre patent ones. (Actually it's degrade when when the dip-dye look isn't on fabric. Ombre is pretty hot this fall, too.) But the ad also shows glimpses of skirt and dress hemlines that appear to be covered in cassette tape fringe. Similar to a Bottega Veneta ad I saw recently with some very 20s, flapper-esque fringed dresses. But uglier. Intriguing, though. That's the weird thing about fashion -- even when it's ugly, it can still be captivating.

back from hiatus

For those who have been asking when I would update my blog (hello, all two of you!), here it is. More to come about life-changing events, what's going on in my brother's brain (literally), my sister's baby shower, recent travels and what might be the most perfect MAC eyeshadow quad, ever. But until then, I give you this, via Neatorama:

lipgloss=bad

Alex informed me yesterday when he saw me applying lipstick that "lipgloss" is a "mean, disrespectful word." He went on to say that eyeshadow is an "okay word." Later he added that he doesn't like lipgloss because "'gloss isn't a cool word to say." Furthermore "'eyeshadow' is a good word because 'eye' is a good word and 'shadow' is a good word. You know, like 'eye love you' is good."

Just to complicate things, "lipstick" is apparently good, too.

8 random things

Philippe at Bad Idea Indeed recently tagged me for the "eight random facts" meme, so here goes:

1. I have a birthmark near the hollow of my throat that resembles a partridge from the opening credits of "The Partridge Family."

2. My current favorite song is sung entirely in French. I do not speak French.

3. I have something of a makeup fetish. At last count I owned 65 MAC eyeshadows. I haven't counted all the other brands.

4. I don't know why, but I am slightly squicked out by a French manicure on toes. It is totally irrational, but there it is.

5. If I come across "Steel Magnolias" on television, I am physically incapable of turning the channel, even though I know what that movie does to me.

6. I currently have a low-level addiction to Reese's Pieces. And by "low-level" I mean "don't get in between me and my Reese's Pieces."

7. I see nothing wrong with carrying a $6 wallet in a $1300 purse. (No, I didn't pay $1300 for the purse.)

8. I currently have 14 Firefox tabs open. My favorite Firefox feature is the "undo close tab" command. Love it.

On with the tagging:
Mack
Jocelyn
Bill
Doug
Rose
Kerri
Sarah
Craig