Yesterday was a big turning point - Joe began the process of moving out. This is a far cry from his initial estimate that it would be May or June before he could move, a statement that left me speechless, to say the least. But in all fairness, I think he just needed a few days to "catch up" mentally, and simply being in the same house made it apparent that sooner rather than later was the way to go.It'll probably be 3-4 weeks before he's out completely, but getting started was important.
Yesterday also wasn't the most pleasant of days for a variety of reasons, so I had to really work myself on how to positively channel my energy.I started pulling his books off the shelves in the living room and making neat stacks. I noticed Joe had made a stack of the DVDs he wanted to take, so I found a box in the basement and started packing them up. His claims seemed appropriate - the horror films, the Phillies highlights, the Lord of the Rings trilogy, the John Adams miniseries...wait!...I like that! But okay, I did buy it for him, so fair enough. The Graduate! What? I held it for a second and then put it in the box. "It's just stuff," I reminded myself. Just stuff, and a small thing to let go. But I realized at that moment that I needed to start a divorce shopping list of my own, so here's the beginning of it:
- The Graduate I'd rather have it on Blu-Ray anyway and $12.50 for the Blu-Ray/DVD combo isn't bad.
- John Adams HBO miniseries
- A new bookshelf for the upstairs hallway. I've always liked this style of shelf so maybe I'll get one of those. Of course, if I could find a real wood version for less than $300 that looked as nice, I'd be all over it.
- A small piece of furniture to go against the short bit of wall next to my bedroom to cover up the wall access to the plumbing for the tub that's on the other side of the wall. I have no idea what this might be, maybe a traditional bookcase? Maybe something like this cubby shelf, though definitely not the PB version.
- A coffee pot. Joe is the coffee drinker - I don't drink it. But I know Analise* does sometimes. And unlike the last many years of our marriage, I intend to have friends over once I'm on my own, and despite the fact that I don't drink it, it seems utterly ungracious to not have the ability to offer a cup of coffee.
- Photo albums. There are a fair number of pictures I'm going to take down, but I'm not getting rid of them. Many of them are Alex's memories, and I want him to have access to them. Even more, I want him to be able to look at them whenever he wants and not feel that it's going to bother me, so I'm going to put the photos albums in his room. They're his happy memories and I want him to have them.
- Paint. I plan on painting a lot. My bedroom is going to be the start, I think. I got a new headboard/footboard not that long ago and I bought new bedding in anticipation of redoing the bedroom, but the bed was delivered and the redecorating never happened. Now would be a good time for a fresh start, no? Here's what I'm working with, so I think a soft shade of blue that will let the white ground of the bedding pop out? And I'll need new artwork for over the bed, too.
(Here's where Typepad's rich text editor is going to screw up the margins, but I'm going to choose to not let that bother me for a change.)
I also want to paint the upstairs hallway, the kitchen and butler's pantry, the spare bedroom (I'm not sure what I'll use that for, but I have a vague idea, so I think I'll have to hold off on that one), and the dining room, which will be a real hassle since it's a very dark red and will take forever to cover. The general idea for the room is that the color will come from this, which was a gift from the firm when I was made a vice president:
Given my calendar over the next 5 months, I have no idea when all this painting is going to take place, but that is a challenge for another day and another post.
I should add that since I made the decision to ask for a divorce, I've had virtually no urge to shop at all. Hmmmmm....
*Analise's title is "Home-Life Coordinator" - she's an employee of the firm and her responsibilities are picking up Alex at school, taking care of him in the afternoons, running light errands, doing a bit of light housework (emptying the dishwasher would be a good example) - all things that make it more possible for me to travel for work like I do and not lose my ever-loving mind. She is a HUGE part of our daily life and she loves and cares for Alex like crazy. We literally cannot do without her.