On the heels of that last big chance-taking post (and thank you to everyone who commented here and in other forums - your support means so much!), I thought I'd say a little about some current favorite songs. I recently put a bunch of Mary Chapin Carpenter songs on my iPod and it's been so nice hearing those old favorites again. I like pretty much every note of the album "Come On, Come On" but there are two bits that stand out right now. The first is from "I Take My Chances":
I walked alone in the rain one day
On the wrong side of the track.
I stood on the rail 'til I saw that train
Just to see how my heart would react.
Now some people say that you shouldn't tempt fate
And for them I could not disagree.
But I never learned nothing from playing it safe,
I say fate should not tempt me.
If there's anything I've learned in my almost nine years with the firm, it's that I grow myself the most when I take chances, when I decide to be my biggest self. I know that it's when I step out on that edge and lean into that new territory I really find out what I can do and what more I can be. I've learned more in my career, for instance, by constantly inventing new titles and roles with my boss - usually things I think I can't do - and then feeling out the edges, filling in the gaps, finding new pieces of me to make it work. I spend a not insignificant part of my time a bit scared out of my gourd, but it almost always pays off in ways I could have never imagined. So yeah, I'll trade a little fear, a little discomfort, a little teetering on the edge for the results - feeling more whole, expanding my range of possibilities, being a bigger me.
Then there's another Mary Chapin Carpenter song called "The Hard Way" and I pretty much love every word of it, but I'll only share one:
We've got two lives, one we're given and the other one we make.
I've been carrying that lyric around with me for 15 years now and I can't say I always knew what it meant to me, I just knew it was important. But now I know it's about choice - for so long I lived life as it was give to me, or as it was in front of me. I accepted what was without pushing for what should be. I waited for things to happen. I'm not a fully realized, enlightened being by any stretch, so I know I still do this to a degree in relation to things both important and trivial. But I'm much more aware of the role choice plays and the fact that I'm in control so much more often than not. I'd rather choose something and make a mistake but learn something about me and life than just take what's in front of me and never know the possibilities.
So that's what's on my mind today here in Trinidad (more on that later). If you need me, you can find me here at the inn, tapping away on my keyboard, humming "I Feel Lucky."
photo via images.encarta.msn