I FUCKING ROCK.
Okay, so maybe I really don't, but right now I feel like I do. After a month filled with sporadic and bad runs and bronchitis, I went out for a run today. I haven't run 3 miles since the 5K I ran on 1 May, and when I made it to the 2 mile mark, I thought, "I should try to run 3." So I kept going. By the time I hit 3 miles, I realized I felt like I could run a long time, so I decided to run another lap. Then suddenly 4 miles seemed within reach, so I decided to aim for that. The first half of the last lap was really, really hard, but I managed to finish without feeling totally shredded. In fact, I felt pretty fucking victorious.
The last couple of laps I kept thinking about the end of Sharon Olds' "Sex Without Love": " the single body alone in the universe against its own best time."
My time was 48:27. Definitely not winning any speed records. But it's my own best time, I did it all myself, and it's all mine.